Erica Wollerman, Psy.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist PSY 25614
(858) 342-1304
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Movie Review: Inside Out - A Child Therapist's Dream!

7/18/2015

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I recently went with a group of therapist friends to see the movie, Inside Out, which is, as many other child therapists have already noted, a child therapist’s dream movie. This is for a few reasons but primarily because it is based on the emotions or “voices” in our heads and the movie did a pretty wonderful job of demonstrating what each emotion is all about and what it looks like without the other emotions combined with it. Fear seemed to represent anxiety and sadness was certainly a great representation of depression. Anger was quite over the top anger that I often see with some of the kids I work with who have difficulties managing their big angry feelings.

The coolest thing about this movie is that it takes emotions and makes them an interesting and okay thing for kids to talk about, which can be unusual in our current culture that focuses a lot on happiness and avoidance of most other emotions. Some of the kids that have come into my office since seeing the movie have been more open to share about their feelings, using the movie as their platform for the conversation. As I stated before, this is a child therapist’s dream! 

Another element of the movie that I really appreciated is that you get to watch an evolution of the characters, where they grow to understand that each emotion is important and that their person, Riley, will cope and live her best life if they are all working together, rather than just focusing only on Joy (which was how the movie began). I fundamentally believe that all of our emotions are important and useful tools in our lives and that issues arise when they get out of balance and we rely on one emotion and neglect the others. As such, this message was something I really appreciated.

Here are some questions and discussion starters that I have been using with kids in my office to help them open up about their feelings while also feeling like they are talking just about the movie:

  • What was your favorite part of the movie?
  • Which emotion do you think was most important?
  • How do you think things work when a person only feels one feeling at a time?
  • Was there anything about the movie that reminded you of the way you feel?
  • What emotion do you think is “in charge” of you a lot of the time (or it could be more than one)?

I can’t say enough how impressed I was with the movie and how easy it was to relate to it without having an over the top, educational or therapist vibe!  I would highly recommend that any parent who is interested in talking to their child more about their emotions go see the movie with their child and then discuss it afterwards.

Thanks for reading!    


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Things to know when going to therapy (from a psychologist's perspective)

7/6/2015

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Things to know when going to therapy:

Going to therapy can be hard. Really hard. So hard that you might not want to do it. However, going to therapy is also amazingly rewarding and a wonderful step towards personal growth and changing your life.  The following is a list of things that I wish people knew before going to therapy (or that my clients knew while coming to therapy as these tend to be hot topics in my office!).  

Here we go, things I wish my clients knew before and during therapy:

  • I am not here to judge you. No seriously, I really am not judging you for your life and choices!  The goal of therapy in my eyes is for me to try and understand you and help you understand yourself, which in turn, produces tons of amazing effects (increased self-esteem and confidence, reduced symptoms, better relationships, increased life satisfaction, etc). But the goal certainly is not for me to “analyze” you and in essence find you “less than.” Therapy is a space for you to be you and to feel genuinely supported and heard by someone. For that to happen, I am not looking for your flaws but for your strength. I will help you see your best side and see areas you want to change, not areas I think you should change. Which brings me to my next point… 
  • Where you go with therapy is up to you… sure I have lots and lots of ideas about what might be helpful and I will be a guide in the process. However, the goals are yours to create as it is your life we are working on – not my perception of how your life “should” be. This goes back to the judgment part also, your life is yours to evaluate, not mine. While I can help you understand the effects of your choices, I respect your right to choose whatever path you choose. 
  • I am not going to “fix” you, your life, your marriage, or your child/teen. I’m sorry to let you down but I do not fix things in some magical way, I help you see what you can do to improve your life and support you while you make those daily hard choices to take action and make changes. The amazing part of this means that your success is yours, not mine. 
  • I genuinely care deeply for my clients. I always tell people that I am a terrible liar and it’s true, I turn red and get really nervous and awkward when I lie. Nothing about our therapy relationship is untrue, it is definitely based on caring for the people with whom I work. While there are also boundaries in this relationship that you will not find in others, that does not mean that I do not care or value our relationship. 
  • You are not broken, weak, or flawed for asking for help. Please repeat that over and over to yourself if that is difficult for you to accept. I fundamentally believe that there is nothing more terrifying or powerful than presenting your full truth and vulnerable emotions to another person and sitting in that relationship with them. We are so often told that asking for help is a problem, a weakness, or a flaw that it can be very difficult to ask for what you need. To me, the very opposite is true. I believe that my clients are brave, strong, and fiercely resilient in their lives and I am honored to be able to know them and walk with them through their process. 

I hope this list is helpful in orienting my clients and other people to therapy and what therapy is all about. If you would like to speak with me about how my services might be helpful to you, please feel free to contact me!

Thanks for reading!




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    Author

    Hi everyone!  I am excited to add a blog section to my site where I will be able to share with you some more information about me, helpful tips, and support. As you know from the rest of my website, I work with children, teens, and adults and as such, the topics will vary pretty widely.

    Thank you for reading! 

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Thrive Therapy Studio
5230 Carroll Canyon Rd. #110

San Diego, CA 92121

(858) 342-1304
ewollerman.psyd@gmail.com 
"Watch your thoughts, 
They become words. 
Watch your words, 
They become actions. 
Watch your actions, 
They become habits. 
Watch your habits, 
They become character; 
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